There's a Nightmare in My Closet

my baby's first shot

She looks so scrawny in these photos, but she is in the 95th% for weight and height. I think she is really long....

my dirt diggers

dirt...a child's dream come true...at least my children. Love to dig, love to get dirt under their fingernails and love to bury things. With all the toys they have, they continue to go back to dirt. It is a staple and will never grow old. Can Santa bring them a box of dirt for Christmas?

my hair DON'T

I don't know why I think I can just touch up my roots myself. 90% of the time when I buy my own hair color it turns into a disaster. When will I learn?? The words witch, goth, vampira, morticia, etc. come to mind when I look at myself. I have hidden my identity out of shear embarrassment. I went from blond with about 1/2 inch of medium brown roots, to blue black. After 5 washes (3 with baking soda) it is now black w/a hint of red. I cant believe how off the color was. I wanted a brown...I got suckered into the Chris Rock movie 'Hair' thinking, why am I always fighting to be blond? Then I saw a lot of pretty brunettes on Sunday. So I went and bought some medium (so I thought) brown to dissipate some of the blond and hide my growing roots. But the outcome of my good intentions was not as expected...of course...blackness. And I do not see the light. (literally)

My only hope is to continue to wash, and wash and wash and will one day see some semblance of brown again. I can hope. But for now, I am just glad that it is Halloween next week. I will fit right in...to the night. (I included this picture to demonstrate how my hair fades into the background, is it hair anymore? or has it become its own entity)

my thumb sucker

This was one of the sweetest things I have seen. I have never had a thumb sucker and I dont think Jane is...but I thought it was sweet how she figured it out.

my baby photo shoot

Jane Roberta

my new favorite hobby...

I have become obsessed with crochet this summer and I LOVE it. Thanks to Grandma Hazel who taught us the basic single crochet and chain stitch. I took it from there and really learned how to do a lot on my own. I need something to do all the time. I like to be busy while I watch TV at night, then I don't feel so bad that I am wasting time. I've made beenies, booties, embelished burp clothes, flowers...I especially love these cute little animals. I am still an amature, so I can see all my mistakes. The little owl is my favorite so far.

my open blog...

I have a lot of catching up to do

my soccer player

We signed Audrey up for soccer this year. It has been fun. I discovered at Audrey's first game, that I wanted her to be good, really good. I wanted her to dominate. She is 6. I needed to calm down. As I watched her at her first game, she was waving to everyone, she was fixing her hair, and tying her shirt. It is fun for her and that is great. She has gotten a lot better over these weeks. She's scored goals and learned some good basics. Her coach is wonderfully nice. She just doesn't have that edgy competitiveness, but that's okay. I can live with that...

my little blessing

The birth of my fourth child was highly anticipated. I could not wait to hold a new sweet baby in my arms. When I look back on my 30+ years the happiest moments in my life have always involved family. In particular the birth of all my children. The happiness that I feel when I first get to hold that infant is pure joy. It is peace. It is a miracle and I cling to that because in this dark world these moments are fleeting. I was trying to get pregnant for over a year. I didn't understand and continued to become increasingly frustrated. I finally decided to go to the doctor for "infertility" purposes only to discover I was pregnant a month later. The pregnancy was a smooth one, I gained 40 lbs and was freakishly large. But when my father died when I was 6-7 months pregnant I was slipping into a sadness where I was unable to see the sun behind the clouds. Being pregnant gave me the hope that I needed. I clung to the fact that I would soon have that peaceful, joyful feeling soon with a new birth. My father's death has been very sorrowful for me. Looking back now, I can see Heavenly Father's hand in my pregnancy and its timing. The only thing that has brought me comfort in the months following my father's death has been this new baby. I know the Lord knew me, and knew that I would need that purity, that miracle, to overcome my deep feeling of sorrow and hopelessness. I am so thankful for this baby, as I am for all my babies. Jane Roberta brings me comfort.

my funny faces

We are sooooooooo excited for Halloween:) I think it is funny how Sadie finds it difficult to get her teeth in. Her faces are so funny...

my baby's bath

Her disgusting remnants of the umbilical cord fell off in a shriveled purple/black raisin. (hallelujah); and we got to submerge her tiny little body in a warm bath. She is such a sweet 4th child. She is so easily contented and is a joy. I love that freshly bathed baby smell!!!